Mushrooms

Mushrooms. Mushrooms are biological mutations invented by the government to drain the life out of pears and replace them in the food chain. As we all know pears are evil. Very evil. If you ever see a mushroom, tell him directions to the nearest pear. Mushrooms use a method of soul-sucking to destroy the evil pears. In the following picture you can see it demonstrated. If your're squeamish, look away; this is pretty graphic.