Pears

The pear race is a quite delicious fruit, probably second or third in tastiness but they are actually terribly evil vegetables. Normally they are hunted by the forces of good, the soulsucking mushrooms. Pears have the ability to fly through the air and hit things with extreme force, for this reason, they are commonly used as a cheap abortion method, allowing the mushrooms to unite with the crazy christians (only temporarily, though, as God doesn't like the flavor of mushrooms). When you eat them and you taste those weird little lumps in them you become have a chance to become brain dead if you are already fairly dumb. To avoid becoming brain dead always check to make sure that the farm that grows the pears that you eat is run by mushrooms. If not, the pears can make you brain dead, even hypnotize you (only if you are REALLY DUMB). Another way to rid the world of this terrible scourge is to drink lots of pear juice. This is their souls in liquid form.